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From Reuters Uk today.
"British toddler better after swallowing detergent"
In what way?
Did they develop super-powers?
maybe all toddlers should have detergent so they too can be new and improved. |
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The Churchill Ads, seem to have grown in an almost Howard from the Halifax Ad level of annoyance.
Actually they are nowhere near as bad as Halifax ads, I pay no attention to whatever rate they are offering and only think about how I could kill them all, and that the only response would be polite letters of thanks from anyone who had ever seen one of these ads.
They have to be the most expenwsive ads any bank has ever filmed, could they not offer even better rates instead of spunking all the profits on these hideous ads?
Damn sidetracked by Howard, I feel ill.
The latest Churchill ad pretends to be a gameshow, of the lowest possible order.
The contestants are all in the crowd (a la Millionaire) and one lucky sole gets picked to sit in the chair in the middle of the quiz room (a la millionaire) and there is a multiple choice question (a la millionaire).
But hang on a second, the contestant from the audience asks the question. What kind of individual would want to appear on a quiz show where you may get picked to ask a pre-written question to a nodding head dog that has escaped the cluthes of the backseat of a car?
As if all this wasn't bad enough it turns out the question is a "trick" question. All the answers are right.
How bone-buryingly hilarious.
Fuck off Churchill, go and live with Howard in Halifax land and leave us all alone. |
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A couple of nights ago I tuned into the new channel 4 show "Supersize Vs Superskinny"
So the basic premise was that one extremely overweight person and one extremely underweight person, must live together and swap their diets.
Shock of shocks the skinny one started putting weight on, and the fatty one started losing weight.
Well fuck me sideways with an I speak your weight machine, that is uncanny, who could possibly have foreseen the outcome of this groundbreaking experiment.
And now, the government is considering introducing a pay scheme to encourage overweight people to lose weight.
What the hell is that about?
I recently noticed a sign in Hackney, where I live, which said "Have you paid your rent on time? Then you could win a prize"
Where did this rewarding people for doing what is expected idea come from.
Now before anyone gets upset about overweight people: of course not every case of overweightnedness(?) is a simple case of laziness, but anyone who is needing more than a kick up the arse won't be affected by the incentive of money will they.
Where's my reward for not being overweight?
Or shall we start paying murderers to encourage them not to be killing others.
Huh?
Shall we? |
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Went to see the new Coen brothers movie on Saturday.
I have to say that the trailer is a little deceptive.
It is a beautifully shot and scripted film, but very slow moving.
Nothing wrong with that, it adds to the tension and forboding.
However without giving anything away, what was going on in the last 20 minutes.
I felt a little like I'd missed a chunk of the story.,
And then when the ending did come, the entire audience had to do a double take, as no-one could believe that was the ending.
Everyone sort of looked at each other, as if to say. "Erm, I don't get it. Why did the film just end."
None of this was helped by the girl next to us, who continually sighed throughout the movie and kept asking her friends "What did he say?" "What does that mean?" Etc...
Grrrrrr. |
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First post in an age, I will attempt to be more regular. In my writing not in my bowel movements which are perfectly fine thank you for asking.
I was working a little late last night, during the New Look fire on Oxford Street.
What with our buildin having the most gargantuan air con system known to man, the smoke was soon enough plucked from the very atmosphere to be circulated around the building.
You could actually see it hanging in the air.
And when I went to get to my bike in the basement my eyes felt sore straight away.
It still stinks of smoke today.
I don't like it. |
| » Skatoony |
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If anyone out there in LJ land has Cartoon Network...
Then tune in today (and every Friday for that matter) at 5pm or 7.30pm.
To watch Skatoony.
It's the show I've been working on this year.
The world's first quiz show with real kids against toons.
All sorts of wacky crap happens in this show.
It's on every week until the end of the year, so I'd better get on and finish the rest of the shows.
Oct. 6th, 2006 @ 12:50 pm
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| » Let's Go To Work |
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So they're releasing Reservoir Dogs the Video Game.
Which they claim is accurate to the film.
So that would be a game, where you slowly bleed to death on the floor of a warehouse before getting your head blown off.
Hmmm, sounds fun.
The story in the film revolves around a heist gone wrong, but we never see the heist. The story is about the characters not the violence.
Aug. 29th, 2006 @ 02:48 pm
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| » The Girl From Mars |
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I've just realised who Penelope Cruz looks like.
 
The woman from Mars Attacks
See?
Or do I just not like her.
Aug. 28th, 2006 @ 04:25 pm
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| » Could be... |
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I just had a phonecall from a woman down the road who has found a cat that she thinks is Bernie.
He was wondering around the school near the hospital.
She's got him at her house.
I really hope it's him.
I've got to the right thing and take him to the vet to check his chip to make sure though.
What if I find out it's not him?
Stooooopid cat.
Aug. 1st, 2006 @ 04:17 pm
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| » Ou est la Bernie. |
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I'm sad.
I haven't seen my cat since the 15th July.
He's been gone for days before but never this long.
Also the last couple of times he was gone a while his tags or collar have been missing.
Making me think someone is trying to nick him.
I know sometimes
He's very affectionate, and often wanders into peoples houses, or shops or schools.
But I always get a phonecall.
No such call this time.
I hope he's alright, but I'm starting to think he's not coming back.
I'm putting posters and flyers around tomorrow.
Jul. 26th, 2006 @ 11:11 am
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| » Email from work |
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Please be aware that we have received notification from Westminster Council that with effect from 1 August they intend to enforce legislation with regard to littering in the streets and on pavements, included in this category are cigarette butts. Officers will be patrolling the area on a routine basis and anyone seen disposing of a cigarette butt on the road or pavement will be issued with a fixed penalty notice for the sum of £50, payment within 14 days will discharge the liability of conviction, failure to pay may lead to summary conviction and a fine of up to £2,500.
They have also reminded us that it is an arrestable offence for individuals to fail to provide the correct personal details when requested by the council officer.
Jul. 25th, 2006 @ 03:15 pm
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| » air CON |
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Been sat here feeling far too hot all day.
Several phonecalls have gone to the wonderous department of Facilities asking for the aircon to be turned to a bearable temperature.
However as it feels as though nothing has happened, we enquired this time as to why.
Only then were we told that the air con was struggling to work, apparently it fails at 30oC.
Well that's just dandy.
Jul. 19th, 2006 @ 05:11 pm
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| » Badgering Strangers |
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A woman on the bus this morning had a badge on that said "I (heart) sarcasm"
I was sorely tempted to lean over and say.
"Oh, I REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAALLLLLLLY like your badge"
Unfortunately I resisted, but a bit of a strange badge to wear I thought to myself.
Jul. 11th, 2006 @ 01:03 pm
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| » New look |
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The new look from the US that we will no doubt be following.
Much better, than the 3d stuff in my opinion, it's simple and funny, just what kids like.
Jul. 3rd, 2006 @ 06:24 pm
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| » Ed's dead baby, Ed's dead. |
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The scrappy dog known as Eddie on TV's Frasier has died.
The 16-year-old Jack Russell terrier, whose real name was Moose, died of natural causes at the Los Angeles home of trainer Mathilde Halberg.
Jun. 29th, 2006 @ 12:40 pm
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| » If you work in advertising or marketing, kill yourself |
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Is it just me, or is that phone advert with Robbie Williams the most annoying piece of shit on telly? I can’t even remember which company it’s for as my blood boils every time it pollutes my screen.
It’s advertising the wonderful web ‘n’ walk world of 3G phones.
‘N’ you have a lot to answer for. You may well have given us fish ‘n’ chips, and rock ‘n’ roll, although I hear God is taking claim for giving us that one.
But I shall not forgive the likes of park ‘n’ ride, cash ‘n’ carry and certainly not web ‘n’ walk, unless when referring to a duck.
So anyway back to the ad in question. Some woman or other is checking out the latest news, when up comes an article with the headline “ROBBIE SEEN AT HOTEL”. Talk about a slow news day. What’s on page 2 “MOON SEEN AT NIGHT”, “BECKHAM SEEN AT FOOTBALL MATCH”.
But then she goes into the hotel, which she happens to be in front of, at the exact same angle from which the news story took their photo, in her quest to see Robbie.
She starts to imagine everyone she sees is Robbie; they’ve all got his face…
Well no, they haven’t. Despite the fact that Robbie is actually in the advert when it comes to superimposing his face on the other actors they chose to use someone who only looks like Robbie if squint, turn around and poke your eyes out. So what’s the point in doing it at all?
Another advert that’s confusing me at the moment is the Holland & (not ‘n’) Barrett one with Kim Wilde.
She magically appears like the shopkeeper from Mr Ben for no conceivable reason, and then starts casting all kinds of witchlike spells on their goods.
Isn’t one of the big deals for Holland & Barrett their naturalness?
The only conclusion I can draw is that this was not the plan of the Ad makers and Kim is indeed an all-powerful witchy woman, not to be messed with. After all, she did claim to be several kids from America when she was actually born in Chiswick and only one person.
Oh yeah, I hate that new Frosties ad too, with grinning gimp of a child. Just fuck off and let the Tiger do it.
Jun. 23rd, 2006 @ 12:43 pm
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| » Woo who |
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I loved Dr Who on Saturday.
Hardly any actual Doctor in it, just a really fun episode. Something for all the family.
I only just realised that Ursula was played by Shirley Henderson who was Moaning Myrtle in Harry Potter, who was 37 years old when she played a 14 or 15 year old girl.
Blimey.
Jun. 20th, 2006 @ 02:28 pm
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| » Got your card marked |
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Did my son-like duty according to the law of Hallmark and got my Dad a card, well I just remembered on Friday at least.
And followed up with a phone call on the day it self.
Unfortunately I had no recollection of the card that I bought my Dad last year, as it turns out I bought the same bloody card.
I wish I'd just told my Dad to hang onto last years card.
Actually it was an ironic statement about the futility and pointless-ness of the whole debacle.
Yeah... that's what it was actually. Yeah.
Jun. 19th, 2006 @ 09:43 am
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| » T AND T |
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Watching the England game in the fountain was brilliant!
It was bursting to the seams with Trinidad & Tobago fans. Steel drum players outside.
And a guy on a mike, who kept saying let me hear some noise for Trinidad & Tobago every 5 minutes.
and "T AND T" to which the crowd who yell back "We want a goal"
Every instance in the game became something really exciting, even a straightforward pass.
I'm actually tempted to go and watch their last game instead of England's as we've already qualified now.
Jun. 16th, 2006 @ 01:11 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I'm going to watch the England game in a pub called the Fountain round the corner from my flat later.
They have all draught pints at £1.50, and a huge Trinidad & Tobago flag stuck to the outside.
Should make for an interesting afternoon.
Jun. 15th, 2006 @ 12:14 pm
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